Happy New Year!

I'm just wishing everyone a happy 2009!!! I hope that everyone feels grateful for the past year. I feel like I have become a better person this year, or at least I have learned a lot of things. I am truly grateful for the many blessings I have had in this past year. My friends and family, for all that I have learned from them. For my roommates. For the strength that I have gained. For my recital, for my jobs, I have just learned a lot and have had a lot of blessings. I know that I have a lot to work on this next year.

Last year, my new year's resolution was to be more organized. I dunno.. how have I been with that? I know that at first I did really try. and I think that I have improved. So I am going to keep working with that. But this year I have a couple. I want to practice 3 hours every day, but I'm not sure if I can do that with the holidays and with some abnormalities in Mexico. But my resolution is to practice 3 hours every day possible. Wish me luck!! My other resolution is to know myself.

Well, for Jamilyn's happiness question, I said what makes me happy is knowing who I am. How do I know better who I am? By coming closer to God, by stretching myself, seeing what new things I can do. By a more intense scripture study, by studying my patriarchal blessing more, by more fervent and heartfelt prayer. By really trying to follow the Spirit. I really want to focus on school, but I think that I have been putting my spiritual things to the side. I am really grateful for my calling, and for the many great spiritual experiences that I've had, but I have been lacking in the daily scripture study, the daily routines.

I think it would be so awesome to also read the Book of Mormon in Spanish every day. That can help me immerse myself in the language while I'm in Mexico.

I'm at the Gilberts now and having a blast. I guess another New Year's resolution I have is to be friends with Brian. Even though I can't say I'm doing perfectly because I'm not. But I think I am still doing well, and everything is going to be okay. That's the important part. Everything is okay. And I know we can do it. Hey, it's the New Year! A time to start over. I am glad to be leaving because that will help. And I think that we are such good friends. It's worth it. And my future husband is worth it too! I wonder who he will be. And I am glad to know that I have friends who understand me. I feel truly blessed.

Well, I hope everyone has a fabulous 2009. Happy New Year!

Love,
Stephi

La Vida en México

Hey, my title's in Spanish! :) I am going to try to take Jami's advice to keep my México trip in the same blog. Christmas has been awesome! time to play rock band! ttyl! :)

Gratitude List - Christmas Eve

Wow.. It has been a long time since I have written a gratitude list! So hopefully I can write lots.

I am grateful to my Heavenly Father that:

-I am HOME! My Daddy came and got me and Debbie and all of my stuff and brought us home to Grand Rapids. The roads were great and we had some good talks on the way up.
-I got to eat delicious food - always good.
-I survived my shift at the library this morning.
-I have money.. I just deposited a bunch of checks and that was a good feeling. lol.
-I am grateful that I am caught up with my tithing. Well, I was until yesterday, but it will be easy to do.
-I got really cool gifts tonight - Lime Green pajama pants with Cherries on them that Lisa's mom made, some awesome slippers that Lisa picked out, and a headset to talk on skype with from Collin. Good thing I didn't buy one because I almost did!
-I got so spend time with my family. I really missed them.
-We have a tradition of reading the Christmas story from the Bible. This year (and I think he has done it the last couple of years too) my Daddy read a combination, switching back and forth from the Bible to the Book of Mormon. That was neat. It's a good tradition that I want to have with my own family.
-I got to go to La Mexicana today with Nick. We spoke in Spanish almost the whole time and ate yummy food. It was really nice to catch up. And he got to meet Debbie and Sam, well, actually talk to them anyways.
-I have been able to hang out with my friends during all of break. Just in the past week I have seen Justin, Brian, Annalaura, Caity, Rudi, Kari, Mary, and Nick. I am so glad that I have had great opportunities to see my friends before I leave! That means a lot to me.
-I was able to finish packing!!!! Now that is an achievement I have been working on forever. I am so glad to finally have sorted all of my stuff out.

To be continued.. I've got to go. I hope everyone has a Merry Christmas!!!!!
Love,
Stephi

Brian's home!

Well, Brian's home. We have had some great times together. We still like eachother, but we know it is worth it to be friends, and we are both happier that way. Well, let's see.. on Friday I went to his house and played UNO with his family and helped Sue decorate for Christmas - I don't want to admit it because it took way longer than I expected, but I enjoyed decorating, especially since I didn't get to do that at my apartment or at my house in GR. I still love his family very much. Lauren was there and she is ADORABLE. So cute because now she can say words and I love hearing her talk.
On Sunday Brian was supposed to come and hang out with the missionaries, Sam, Debbie, and I, but Sam and the missionaries cancelled (Sam had to work early and the missionaries didn't want to drive in the snow, I don't blame them.) So Brian helped me pack and he was also supposed to help move my bed which we still did in the blizzard. lol. We also got to listen to cheesy Christmas music and we talked too and it was a good time.
Monday was quite the adventure. Brian did me this huge favor by helping me get my car to Otsego. On the way there.. my car overheated.. so I had to pull over on the freeway in the snow and freezing cold. I called my dad. He said to put water in the radiator. Brian drove me to the nearest gas station to get some water. But after we filled it, it was acting up still. I realized that instead of filling the actual radiator, we filled the reservoir.. which did nothing. So Brian filled the radiator for me because I had no gloves (I knew I should have dressed warmer!) Well, that finally worked. And we were still able to go the mall and get some presents, thank goodness it closed at 10 instead of 9! And that was a good time too. We had a fun, a really great time, but now it's time for a break. I'm not going to see him until Friday. And that's a good thing. I can't wait for Christmas and family! I'm happy to go home.

Meanwhile... I feel impatient because I'm waiting for Justin to e-mail me back. I know that it has been no time at all since I've e-mailed him but I thought of a great gift to get him for Christmas, and I can't send it to him because I don't know his address in Idaho. :( Plus I miss him. But I need to be patient! I was patient on Wednesday just fine. I guess it comes and goes, haha. Nah.. I think I've been patient since then. :)

Well, I've got presents.. suitcases almost finished being packed.. I'm almost ready to leave my apartment.. but some last finishing touches including cleaning the bathroom.. it's getting kinda gross.. haha. anyway, I hope everyone has a great holiday! Oh, one thing, I was thinking about making a separate blog for Mexico trip stuff. Should I? Well, I need to write a gratitude list soon. It's been a while! wow! I will very soon. I will talk to you all later. :)

Love,
Stephi

Hayden is ADORABLE!!!

Today Rudi came over and took pictures of me and Debbie and Sam - she had huge cabin fever, haha. We had a good time. Then we went to the hospital to visit Kari and Bret and brought them MacDonalds. :) We were so tempted to eat Bret's McFlurry.. haha. Hayden was absolutely beautiful. We each got to hold him and every time he moved or made a sound we just melted. He has SO MUCH HAIR! haha. He's gorgeous. I'm so jealous and really happy for them. They are doing great. Bret is happy and so is Kari, and mom and baby are doing very well. I am so grateful for that and that I got to see Hayden before I leave for Mexico!
Thanks for taking me, Rudi! And for the pictures. I think I'll post some of them, maybe for the top of my blog and put my family picture on the side. I love that picture but I like changing things up once in a while.
Lots of Love,
Stephi

SNO DAYYYYYYYYY!!!

wow.. what a blizzard.. apparently we've got tons of snow.. I've hardly seen it though, haha. I think I should get out there sometime. But for now.. packing as much as possible and practicing. Wish me luck! Be safe out there!

Yeah, Healthy!

I love Char living here already - she's the one replacing me in the apartment. She and Debbie have been good friends since high school. Anyway.. she's a good influence on Debbie, and in turn, me, in terms of health. She lost a lot of weight and now I can see why. She eats healthy and exercises. Go figure! Well, somehow they started doing some exercises together and today Debbie and I did some - wow! me exercising again! It hasn't been too much but it's making me feel like I can accomplish something. Afterwards, Debbie said.. I want to cook something healthy! "Can you make me some?" "No.." "Can I use your stuff?" "Yeah." So I took her new recipe - Jami would be proud - well, that is if you eat eggs.. I can't remember. We made an egg and tofu salad. it is SO good

The official recipe as created by us:

Scramble 1 egg and some tofu in vegetable oil (I'm sure olive oil would work great for this too).
Add Pepper, Garlic Salt, Salt, and Italian Seasoning.
Put the scrambled mix on top of a plate of Sweet Baby Lettuce
Sprinkle with cheese
Enjoy your healthy meal.

My favorite recipes are the simple and yummy ones. It is SO good.

Yesterday: a long long LONG day.

Yesterday was a long long long day. I was able to still go to Grand Rapids during the day and get my dentist appointment (I rescheduled) and thank goodness my teeth are in excellent shape! (that's pretty much unheard of for me so I was quite pleased), big ol' suitcases, the bracelets I bought for me and the kids - mine says: Awareness Saves! and on the back: In Memory: Donna Mathias. It is pink and has a little ribbon on it. It's awesome. Each kid has their own color and message on it. for example, Maddy's says, I'm not short! I'm fun size! - they are birthday presents for them. :) Going to the dentist and back I was able to have some bonding time with my 14-year-old sister, Katie. That was really cool because I know that it meant a lot to her, and I'm sure she could tell that it meant a lot to me, I know that both her and Becky love any time that they can spend with just me, and unfortunately, it is a rare thing. I'll make sure to have some quality time with Bec before I leave, for sure.

Well, before I was about to leave, Justin called (we were supposed to go ice skating that night), and said that he could replace my starter that night because he found one for cheap - I was like, sure! Let's do it! Well, we were planning on it taking like 30 minutes, maybe an hour - well.. it ended up taking almost 2 hours, so no ice skating, BUT it was a really good way to get to know eachother better.. I know, spending 2 hours freezing so bad it was painful and gross (I mean, I'm still scratching dirt out of my hair and our coats were unusable for the rest of the night gross) under my oldladymobile sounds so romantic - but I had fun. :) I felt like i was helping because I was holding the flashlight and helping him find things. I like to feel like I can help in some way when people are fixing my car - especially if they do it for free. I just am so amazed by people who do that. It seems like such a pain, and it was haha.

Well, something went wrong - all the sudden, we noticed a leak - some brown stuff. But I was SO cold I was like, let's just do something warm and then we can worry about it later. So, hot chocolate and then a movie? no movies.. how about steak 'n' shake? I owed him dinner. That was yummy and fun. I'm just that big a fan of steak 'n' shake plus I had a gift card, haha. Then my apartment and tv? nothing good on. So we ended up watching silly movies online = a twilight spoof and Brian Regan - until midnight when we were like... okay.. time to look at that leak.
Well, it was radiator fluid - yikes - I was freaking out. there was absolutely nothing we could do about it. I called Nick - my #1 source for car fixing - he was busy - I felt TERRIBLE for bugging him - I guess it was the straw that broke my camel's back of stress. so I started crying and was pretty upset about the whole thing - how am I going to pay for this?? especially since I know it's something that we did when we were trying to fix it - it's my fault - that never helps. I already blame myself too much. Well, he said that I could still drive it too a place.. but so much for that - when I tried to park it - it wouldn't even go forward. yikes.

Well, despite being upset, I tried really hard to still be grateful to Justin because I am - the starter works great and he worked SO HARD on it. And I could tell that he really wanted to help this problem too - he said he'd run and get the parts and fix it right now if he could. Also, it was hard for me to be too upset because I like him. Go figure. It was a lame time to say goodbye for 6 months. I gave him a big hug and he said that we'd e-mail eachother. yay. :) Well, the odds are 90/1 that he'll be married by the time I come back, but this was good for me anyway. Maybe I can root for that 1/90 once in a while! :) I'm grateful for it. I'm grateful for the whole thing actually, because well, my dad wasn't mad, my car got towed for free since it's AAA, in 3 weeks I won't even have a car to worry about! My friends forgave me for bugging them, and I even got to talk to Brian late that night because I was feeling really terrible, and I needed a friend and that's what he was and it meant a lot. A couple of days ago I asked him how he felt about us and he said, I like our relationship as it is right now (as just friends). I think that we are better off this way, and we both know it. And despite all my insanity, I had a great date and someone new to think about, someone really awesome. There is a lot to be grateful for.

I know this is a huge burst of writing in all its detail but I needed it. Most of my day today consisted of UGHHHHHHHH - the after effects from yesterday. And I didn't sleep that well. But I needed a chance to look on the bright side, and this is the best way to do it.
I hope everyone's doing well!! I'm missing you already.
Love,
Stephi

hey!! :)

So here I am! I really did want to write about my date and the fun stuff that we did. I drove out to his house in St. Joe and then we went out to dinner at this fun place called Clementine's. Then we went to the "tourist part" of St. Joe. We walked around by all the lights and the cute shops and the funny snowmen. That was really cool. Then we drove by the lake but didn't get out to see it closer because it was too cold!! brrr! haha. Then we went back to his house, and I met his family. I had met most of them before but didn't know them beyond their names. They seemed really fun and nice. I did meet his 13-year-old twin sisters for the first time - one plays violin and the other plays viola! yeah! awesome. They are really cute. They both gave me a mini-concert and I played a bit for them and talked with them about string instruments lol. Then Justin took me out to see the new house they are going to move in to. It was neat because it had a big horse barn in the back! I guess I'm not used to country stuff so I enjoyed it that much more, haha. Well, when I was finally about to leave.. my car wouldn't start.. it has had a bad habit of that lately. I am really glad that Justin knows a lot about cars, so he was able to get it running again.. but there's more. hahaha. On my way home, my car was acting funny.. so I called Justin for advice - I was kinda freaking out because it was something that never happened before. He said I'd make it home and just to keep going, but he basically talked me through it and gave me advice on what to do when I got home. I made it to 131, and then I said.. maybe I should say a prayer. And it started working! That thing runs on faith, I tell ya. He was really nice about it - he was like, if it acts up again just give me a call back, okay? =)
So that was Saturday.
Sunday, Sunday - welfare meeting and then preparing for my lesson. I thought it turned out well, mostly because of the sisters and the spirit - hardly because of my teaching skills, but that isn't what is important. :) Then later on that night Debbie, Sam, and I went to Annalaura, Jana, and Lillian's apartment to enjoy brownies and "storytime" with the missionaries. At the end, they taught Sam about the Plan of Salvation and committed him and Debbie to reading the Book of Mormon together - how cute. I think that will be a really good thing for them, and has potential for good spiritual experiences together.
On the way home, though, we got into a discussion about proposition 8.. yikes! No matter what we said - and I thought that we were saying everything we could - he just could not get over it. But I was proud of Debbie for standing up. Maybe when he learns more he'll understand better.

Monday, let's see - I think it was just work and sorting through clothes to pack and give away.

Tuesday, more work - and then hanging out with a friend. I played a "mini concert" for him and then we went to a Mexican restaurant and talked about life, and relationships haha, and other stuff. That was fun. When I got home though, the weather was getting pretty bad. Debbie and Sam came here saying that the weather was terrible - so I stayed the night instead of going to Grand Rapids like I wanted. but at least I was able to do some more packing and then hang out with Debbie and Char and try to do some pilates, tae bo and then some cardio - but we stopped that since it was midnight and we were afraid to wake the people under us - haha! it was HILARIOUS though and so much fun to work out and feel ridiculous together.

Well, I'm going to write about yesterday in a different post because this is getting LONG!
Lots of love!
Stephi

Still can't sleep

I have been so excited and anxious about everything. By the way, my date was great. I'll tell you about it soon. I can't sleep. I have been so bad at blogging but have been too stressed to write I think. I will try to write soon. I have been having some really great days lately. but it is late, I will have to keep procrastinating. Sorry! I love you all dearly. I'll talk to you soon.
Love,
Stephi

Time to Write!!

You know what one of my favorite things about blogging is?? Jamilyn. Just had to throw that out there. :)

I was so excited about our sleepover even though I was really tired and didn't end up seeing her until like 9. It was at Fri-NA and we all watched the Santa Clause. That was awesome. After the movie we went to her house and we used my foot and hand stuff and soaked our hands and feet and just talked. Well, mostly I talked. She asked me questions and listened to me. It made me feel special. I was able to paint her toes all cute and listen to her too. Then came scripture time and sleep - but even though I said a nice and long and comforting prayer, I still couldn't sleep - worries? maybe.. I'm glad she slept like a rock so my moving around didn't bother her. She made me breakfast in the morning too. how awesome.

On Saturday, my car was having some trouble starting.. so Jami took me to work and AL took me back to my car later which was nice - and of course it started then. :) Well, I was happy. but when we were at the apartment and Debbie and I were about to leave Debbie prayed and it worked!

Yesterday was awesome too - at first I wasn't feeling to great but church was nice. I enjoyed playing in the string quartet with Rudi, Em, and Jamilyn. We should DEFINITELY do that next fall. I also enjoyed bearing my testimony. And I made a new friend - Amanda. She seems really nice and I hope that she comes to the branch more often. I can tell that good things will come from that. Jana's lesson was great - she did seem more sunshiney. And we did a role play visiting teaching in Relief Society - lol!!!!!!!!! Annalaura and I were companions and Kari was the teachee. So cute! Then break the fast and that amazing Christmas message at 8:00. Yeah, church was really awesome. I also got work done on my composition. It was finally finished!! and Jonathan and my friends loved it which was great encouragement - (and I loved it too) it's in my head now. :)

Oh today, well, I finished the last minute things to my composition - writing in the dynamics and typing up the program notes. Then the performances and that was fun - although I was so nervous to perform my piece - but I guess that means I liked it and wanted it to sound good. I have to go now, so I will talk to you more soon!
Lots of love,
Sunshine

Gratitude: my patriarchal blessing

Of course I can't post my blessing but I did want to just say that I am so grateful to have a patriarchal blessing and some of the reasons why.
It makes me feel who I really am and who I really want to be.
It reminds me how much my Heavenly Father loves me and to love others.
It assures me that the things that are most important to me in life will be accomplished.
It counsels me to remember to take care of myself physically and spiritually and remember the little things every day.
It compliments the talents and divinity within me and lets me know that my efforts are worthwhile.
It comforts me by letting me know that there is a plan for everything in my life - my trials, my joys, my experiences, and well, especially remembering that my trials are part of His plan. That means I can get through them and that they will make me stronger and that He will help me through them.

I know that each person that has a patriarchal blessing has a gift from God. It definitely helps with the lonliness thing. :) So take yours out - it took me a long time before I finally listened to that prompting to read it and I am so grateful that I did, especially after some rough days lately.

Love,
Stephi