Yesterday: a long long LONG day.

Yesterday was a long long long day. I was able to still go to Grand Rapids during the day and get my dentist appointment (I rescheduled) and thank goodness my teeth are in excellent shape! (that's pretty much unheard of for me so I was quite pleased), big ol' suitcases, the bracelets I bought for me and the kids - mine says: Awareness Saves! and on the back: In Memory: Donna Mathias. It is pink and has a little ribbon on it. It's awesome. Each kid has their own color and message on it. for example, Maddy's says, I'm not short! I'm fun size! - they are birthday presents for them. :) Going to the dentist and back I was able to have some bonding time with my 14-year-old sister, Katie. That was really cool because I know that it meant a lot to her, and I'm sure she could tell that it meant a lot to me, I know that both her and Becky love any time that they can spend with just me, and unfortunately, it is a rare thing. I'll make sure to have some quality time with Bec before I leave, for sure.

Well, before I was about to leave, Justin called (we were supposed to go ice skating that night), and said that he could replace my starter that night because he found one for cheap - I was like, sure! Let's do it! Well, we were planning on it taking like 30 minutes, maybe an hour - well.. it ended up taking almost 2 hours, so no ice skating, BUT it was a really good way to get to know eachother better.. I know, spending 2 hours freezing so bad it was painful and gross (I mean, I'm still scratching dirt out of my hair and our coats were unusable for the rest of the night gross) under my oldladymobile sounds so romantic - but I had fun. :) I felt like i was helping because I was holding the flashlight and helping him find things. I like to feel like I can help in some way when people are fixing my car - especially if they do it for free. I just am so amazed by people who do that. It seems like such a pain, and it was haha.

Well, something went wrong - all the sudden, we noticed a leak - some brown stuff. But I was SO cold I was like, let's just do something warm and then we can worry about it later. So, hot chocolate and then a movie? no movies.. how about steak 'n' shake? I owed him dinner. That was yummy and fun. I'm just that big a fan of steak 'n' shake plus I had a gift card, haha. Then my apartment and tv? nothing good on. So we ended up watching silly movies online = a twilight spoof and Brian Regan - until midnight when we were like... okay.. time to look at that leak.
Well, it was radiator fluid - yikes - I was freaking out. there was absolutely nothing we could do about it. I called Nick - my #1 source for car fixing - he was busy - I felt TERRIBLE for bugging him - I guess it was the straw that broke my camel's back of stress. so I started crying and was pretty upset about the whole thing - how am I going to pay for this?? especially since I know it's something that we did when we were trying to fix it - it's my fault - that never helps. I already blame myself too much. Well, he said that I could still drive it too a place.. but so much for that - when I tried to park it - it wouldn't even go forward. yikes.

Well, despite being upset, I tried really hard to still be grateful to Justin because I am - the starter works great and he worked SO HARD on it. And I could tell that he really wanted to help this problem too - he said he'd run and get the parts and fix it right now if he could. Also, it was hard for me to be too upset because I like him. Go figure. It was a lame time to say goodbye for 6 months. I gave him a big hug and he said that we'd e-mail eachother. yay. :) Well, the odds are 90/1 that he'll be married by the time I come back, but this was good for me anyway. Maybe I can root for that 1/90 once in a while! :) I'm grateful for it. I'm grateful for the whole thing actually, because well, my dad wasn't mad, my car got towed for free since it's AAA, in 3 weeks I won't even have a car to worry about! My friends forgave me for bugging them, and I even got to talk to Brian late that night because I was feeling really terrible, and I needed a friend and that's what he was and it meant a lot. A couple of days ago I asked him how he felt about us and he said, I like our relationship as it is right now (as just friends). I think that we are better off this way, and we both know it. And despite all my insanity, I had a great date and someone new to think about, someone really awesome. There is a lot to be grateful for.

I know this is a huge burst of writing in all its detail but I needed it. Most of my day today consisted of UGHHHHHHHH - the after effects from yesterday. And I didn't sleep that well. But I needed a chance to look on the bright side, and this is the best way to do it.
I hope everyone's doing well!! I'm missing you already.
Love,
Stephi