Juries and remembering my mom

Yay!! and I did well too.. I was SOO nervous, but the faculty seemed to be impressed that I memorized the piece and worked so hard. It's a LONG piece of music, and I've really made some improvements, especially since my recital last November. And even the past couple of weeks I made some real progress with my piece. It was Bach Suite 5 Prelude and Fugue - it's 4 pages long! But I love it. And I have had some great musical experiences with it too. And Rachael and I have been listening and helping each other with advices and such the past couple of days. She is a great example to me of working hard and also having the Spirit while playing. I like that I can think of the Savior when I play. Even in my jury I thought of Him there with me. I'm glad to know that He was there for me.
I've been thinking of my mom too the past few days. She used to play this one fugue by Bach and I was thinking about how she would play it. She always took the tempo down from how the "professionals" might play it, in general, so I brought my tempo down too. And it did make a difference! My mom's playing can always be defined as expressive, I was thinking about this, and I realized that education wise, I've come as far as she has, and maybe that means I'm just as good of a musician as she was in college. WOW! And that would be saying something. My mom is pretty amazing. And I'm expressive too, and I want to carry on that legacy, that memory and that spirit that my mom had when she played. A part of me still regrets not working as hard on the piano to be as good as she is, but I am grateful that I went on in music and I know she appreciates that. I guess I can just think, someday in Heaven we'll do chamber music like we used to, and now I have new skills so we'll be even better than before. Aahhh not crying.
Speaking of piano, yesterday I recorded that song that I wrote. I'm so excited! It turned out so nice, and I'm grateful for that! I can't wait for Annalaura and Ricky to hear it - since it's dedicated to both of them. I guess one of the great things about being a BA in music is that hopefully I will focus this next semester on composing ~ I'm signed up for semester II of Composition class, and I'm really looking forward to it. Maybe I'll compose a piece that I can perform in my recital! That would be awesome.
I love that I'm writing songs again. I blame it on Ricky, but I'm so glad he pushed me to write songs and he just loves them. I feel great about this new one because I know that a lot of people can relate to it. Plus the recording turned out so well! And writing songs and playing them always invites the Spirit. Always. It's a great experience and I would recommend it for anyone. And we're always self conscious about it but if you have someone who will appreciate it no matter what, that always helps. And those people are easier to find than we may think. We also have our Heavenly Father, who always wants to hear from us.
Well, I'm glad that I was able to write again. No work today! yay! but there is a training meeting thing that I have to go to in 45 minutes, then dinner with my friends from the internship class, and Debbie's coming too :) and then music practice at the Friday Night Activity. Then study (possibly lol) and then scripture study then talking to Ricky (I hardly talked to him at all last night) and then sleep. oh, how glorious sleep will be tonight, now that my juries are over! :)

Love,
Stephi

6 Days until the Semester's over
9 Days until I go home to see my family!
14 Days until Christmas!
15 Days until I see my sweetheart!

Gratitude List

Wow, I have just been so blessed this week it's just remarkable!
I am grateful to my Heavenly Father that:
I have my family and my fiance that love me no matter what and I love them so much.
We had a great concert this Sunday!
I bore my testimony - and cried. but the good kind of crying.
I paid my tithing and offerings!! What a blessing that is!
Emily's home!
I went to Sun-yi's baptism and I could feel the Spirit and I could think of people to share the gospel with - Rachael, Allison from work, and Sean.
The missionaries helped me make a goal to find someone for the missionaries to teach in 6 weeks. - well, I've only got 5 weeks now. At least I thought of those people.
This missionary mindedness just makes me so happy - I love how it makes me feel about my brothers and sisters - when I think of it that way, I just want to share the gospel with them.
I talked to Ricky's mom yesterday - wow I just love her so much! And she loves me. She's so encouraging, she says that I'll be a great member missionary and that we can work together when I'm visiting in Mexico. She also encourages me as a person.
I'm grateful that I was able to get a jury time that wasn't during work! *phew*
Bilingual club was cancelled today so I could have an extra hour or so to practice.
Lots of snow, but we're safe, and now Debbie's here! :)
This lady offered to give me a gorgeous wedding dress for free!!!! And Ricky likes it too! I'm so blessed.
I had a great chat with Sister McCullough
And I talked to Annalaura yesterday!! We are so alike, I look up to her so much.
I'm writing an awesome wedding song and it's going to be a wedding present for Annalaura.
I was able to do my laundry - random I know but I'm glad to have clean clothes again!
Wednesday deal at Papa Johns!! and if this nice lady didn't tell us we would've just left without buying anything because we're not rich.
Food delivery is amazing. I had Jimmy Johns delivered to me last night.
I've been studying already for exams! yay!!
I had a great discussion/performance with Rachael - my Bach was the best it's ever been!!
I survived on that day with 4 hours of sleep.. yay!
Debbie and Emily were there to comfort me when I was having a mood swing meltdown.
Ricky is at the fair today - I'm happy when he goes out and has fun. I know he misses me.
I caught the bus today when I thought I wasn't going to make it.
Ricky helped edit my Spanish paper! that is just so awesome and he corrected all my little errors.
I'm liking this snow.. well.. not the wind or driving on ice or the slush.. but I'm liking the snow a lot more than I thought I would! there's something about those first couple of weeks that gets me every time. I can't wait until Ricky see's it someday!
I'm graduating in April so I can move to Mexico in May! And at first I was nervous about making that decision but I felt a confirmation that I should and I am so grateful that Heavenly Father answers my concerns and my desires.
I just had my LAST SPANISH CLASS EVER!!! that's exciting.. finishing a major. no more Spanish ever again!! jk!!!!! I'm grateful that I have my own personal tutor every single day.
I'm grateful for the many many countless blessings, in little things like catching the bus and big things like a free dress, or things that I can't replace like my family and my fiance, for friends that encourage me, even for trials, for helping me become better, for Jesus Christ being there with me. There are so many things that I haven't written here. It's like, WOW, Heavenly Father really wants me to be happy and to know that He loves me. I'm so grateful for that and I just had to write it. I hope that I can show my gratitude to Him more every day.
Love,
Stephanie

2 Semanas until break!!!

I can't wait for this semester to be over.. but now is the time - I gotta figure out what I am going to do about my degree.. I'm meeting with Margaret Hamilton today, Fedotov discussed possibilities of graduating this summer... but I don't know if that's even possible. We're going to find out.

I'm still grateful though, really. But prayers are always welcome anyway!
Love,
Stephi

Gratitude List and Life

Okay, I'm in the middle of some exam studying but I did want to take the time to write in gratitude to my Heavenly Father for the many blessings I have been receiving.



I am grateful for:



- my family. We had an amazing Thanksgiving weekend! It was just actual bonding time with my siblings. We did a little service project for Lisa - reorganizing all the DVDs and VHS's!! It took way shorter than I thought it would because so many of us were working on it. I don't even know if Lisa's seen it yet! lol but I'm sure she'll love it. they are all in alphabetical order and before it was just a mess. And now that everyone helped do it, they will be more likely to keep up with it too. haha. Also, we watched videos together, played with baby - now he knows he's cute and always wants to be a part of whatever's going on haha - and he's only 6 months old! he's learning fast. He is the cutest baby. seriously. I had a study date with Katie, involving a trip to IHOP and Starbucks, volunteering at and attending Maddy's play, Cinderella, having Thanksgiving dinner, and last Saturday William and Elizabeth's baptism, hanging out with Josh, going dress shopping with Debbie, Katie, and Becky, and more things too! It was just so nice to spend time with them. I'm glad I'm gonna be with them forever.

-my fiance. I love Ricardo sooo much and I know you hear it enough on here but I guess that's what journals are all about. I am so grateful for him, that I met him, for the person that he is. He's strong, spiritual, cute, gorgeous, a great leader and teacher, a worthy priesthood holder, a romantic boyfriend with an adorable accent (seriously, I love it), such a gentleman, an understanding and listening best friend always. he has a great excitement for life, a passion for learning, he loves music and has talent for it. he appreciates me, loves me, loves our Father in Heaven, loves the gospel, loves my culture, loves the mexican culture I fell in love with.. I'm grateful that he's patient, that he encourages me, spoils me and takes care of me. I love that I can make him laugh - on purpose! okay, and on accident too, hehe. I love that when I do something that's a completely "oh, stephanie moment" (like forgetting my keys or getting lost, lol) that he just smiles and sweetly tells me how much he loves me. how when I was running late or stuffing my clothes into my suitcase instead of folding them, things that are completely different from his nature, that he was patient and kind and loving. I'm grateful that he helps me become better, and that he's becoming better himself. That he loves me no matter what - and we've had our share of arguments, but we get through them and learn from them - ALWAYS. That I can tell him my weaknesses and he understands them and tells me that I'm a million times better than I fear I am sometimes. I'm grateful for the confirmations that I receive from my Heavenly Father in my decision to marry him.

- I'm grateful for school almost to be over!!! In just 3 weeks I will have finished all of my Spanish classes - YAY!! And my semester at work - my supervisor (hate is a strong word, but she really really really doesn't like me). But at least next semester I can probably work in the afternoon so I don't ever have to deal with her again. I'm grateful that I have that option in my job! What a blessing that is!! I'm grateful for my hispanic american council project. I LOVE it. So far, it's everything I was hoping it would be. If I have time next semester, I'm going to go there and keep volunteering, just to get more experience and it really does bring a good feeling inside to be helping people, volunteering, AND speaking Spanish!! yay!

- I'm grateful for music. Music is a way that I can bring myself closer to my Heavenly Father, family, and friends. I realized that I had a hard time when I was practicing. But from now on when I practice, I think of my Savior and performing for Him and my Heavenly Father. I play with more passion and work harder. They don't care if I make mistakes, they love hearing me play and seeing me progress and try and learn. And I realized that I can do that with my whole life, and that they can make my weaknesses strengths - and they have been!!
I've been growing so much, and learning so much. And strangely, as much as I hate them, I'm grateful for my weaknesses, so that I can overcome them with my Savior's help and become stronger than I thought I could be!

- I am grateful for my country, for my other country Mexico, for my safety and security, for my family's health! and they've been going through a lot lately - it's something truly to be grateful for. I am grateful for the gospel, and the prophet. I am so grateful that my parents were sealed in the temple, I'm grateful for the scriptures, for personal revelation and prayer, and for my Heavenly Father and Savior.

-and, of course, I'm grateful for my friends, and all of you! thanks for reading, thanks for being there for me and listening to me. I love you, I hope you had a great Thanksgiving and that the end of the semester goes well for you!

Love,
Stephi

Updates and Inspiration

Hello!! I know it's been way too long since I've updated everyone. I can't write much from work but at least I can tell you our plans so far! Our tenative date is May 26th in the Mexico City temple, at least my Dad will be there, Debbie will be in Mexico with me, and Annalaura promised that she would do her best to be there too. And of course, Ricky's parents, and a few close family and friends. Later on in the summer we will have a big reception here, but not too close to Debbie's wedding! After we get married we plan to live in Mexico so that he can go to college and I will look for a job, hopefully through my connections in Mexico!

Debbie has been a great soundboard for all of my ideas, today we went to Kari's and she was SO MUCH HELP!! We both felt extremely grateful for Kari's planning skills ~ she's just incredible!!!! Debbie and I each made a list - mine was a list of things that I needed for my reception here, and I was starting to enjoy the planning for it - yeah, can you believe that!! It is also so awesome that Debbie and I can plan together! It makes it fun and we grow closer together too.

Emily has been great, she always manages to be there for me when I need it ~ this week she cleaned the apartment for me, came and had a great family home evening with me, she listened to my problems and gave some great advice, on Tuesday she stopped by with her aunt and talked to me, and left food for me!! and not to mention that she always responds to my texts so kindly. I am so grateful for her, even when she's going through the most stressful times in her life she is still there for me and she is still such a great person.

Lately, I've been trying to practice and make it through my classes, through my health - I've had a nasty cold and also wasn't eating very well so it was hard to accomplish things like I wanted to, and I have been going through challenges within myself, and feeling discouraged and not good enough. But I've been really improving, even though it's been step by step, and it's amazing how the Savior has been helping me.

I know a lot of my friends are discouraged now, but maybe some of the things that I learned can help, or even if it just helps me (this is late so I'm sorry if it's not worded the best, I'm at work doing a 9pm-12am shift and that doesn't make for the most beautiful compositions, but I felt that I needed to write this) :

At the atonement fireside on Saturday I felt that I really needed to be there, I canceled my previous plans so that I could go, and I'm so glad I did because I learned about the Atonement in a new way ~ Atone means - At One. How can we be At One with our Savior?? by learning about Him and continually striving to be like Him, and by serving others, by prayer, by repenting. And I have really been feeling its power within me and in my life. And now, I'm becoming better. But I also feel power, potential, I'm not sure where all to channel it~ I know that I have school but I was hoping for something for myself too. I do have wedding plans and that is something fun to work on. :) but a few weeks ago Ricky said that I should learn the scripture masteries in Spanish. I thought, great idea! but I wasn't quite ready for it yet. Now I think I should try to do that again. It can really help me to truly become a new and better person.

Another thing that I was reminded of at the fireside is that nobody's perfect. Though it's much easier to say than to believe. I look around me and see so many amazing people and I think, I want the blessings they have, and I'm receiving them, I have a great family, great friends, school, and I'm going to marry the most wonderful young man in the world. And all the little ways that the Lord blesses me in every moment. How is it that I can deserve that? Me, with my problems and challenges and sins and imperfections? Sure, nobody's perfect, but they are close enough, I'm not. But in the fireside I learned that we are ALL struggling with problems and challenges and sins and weaknesses. The speaker at the fireside said that when he became Bishop he realized that all of the people that he thought were perfect were struggling with major problems. Every single one. And that didn't mean that they were bad people or unworthy.

Even the people who seem perfect feel as I do at times. That just makes me feel so grateful for the Atonement, and Christ's power to be there for us and make it so that we can feel that He loves us enough for us to deserve it, and He helps us be that person we want to be! And our trying and our repenting and our love for Him and keeping the commandments as best as we can is our part that we do to be worthy to enter into His presence and receive His mercy and His blessings. And that is good enough. And it's all He asks. I'm so grateful. And my sweet Ricky has been incredible. He's just been so supportive and nothing but sweet and understanding and helpful. I love him so much. And we've done some real growing in the past month, together, our relationship, and me, myself. I just want to be the best person that I can, and he appreciates that, and supports me. And we learn together too, I love that part.

Another thing, Sherri Dew is amazing!!!
Her talk called, "Are we not all mothers?" was the lesson that Emily and I had for Family Home Evening. I love that as women we are divinely and premortally made to nurture and enrich the lives of others, and that we can do that every day. I want to see as God sees. I want to love as He does. To serve as He does, and to be His instrument to bring people closer to Him - it says that I will in my patriarchal blessing. Heavenly Father sees everyone dressed in white, as His children, just trying to be as happy as they can on this life. What greater happiness can we share with others than the light of Christ, His love, and the gospel? And what more beautiful calling is there than bringing His Spirit up so that they can return to Him? And while we're preparing for that calling, what a blessing it is to be able to use our mother-like abilities to all of God's children around us! Everyone should read it - these are just some of my thoughts since Monday, I'm sure if it was a lot more fresh in my mind there would be even more to say ~ it was addressing so many of the questions and issues Emily and I addressed in our discussion together beforehand, in such random ways.

These days the General Authorities of the church have stepped it up even more, for our day, in the sense that they're more specific, they are relating to right here, right now, just what we need. They have always, but I am just realizing how life and time is changing and the counsel that we receive applies to our every day challenges right now.

This is a lot, I know, I hope that those who are feeling discouraged can read and know that Heavenly Father loves you, I love you, and that He will be there so that everything will be just how it should. :)

With Love,
Stephi

I'm ENGAGED!!

YAY!! I wish I could write the whole story of everything but unfortunately I don't have much time, but yes I'm engaged to my sweet mexican love and he's amazing. i'm very grateful because my Heavenly Father has blessed me so much.

I also had the opportunity to go to the temple yesterday, I realized that I have been so selfish and now I must focus during these next 2 months in which I'll be away from my sweetheart -I have to focus on my studies and as hard as it is I owe that to my Heavenly Father - and also serving his children in the temple and in my new calling as a branch missionary again. Emily is my "companion" - well, not really but she's also a new branch missionary and I know that we can support eachother and help eachother in this calling.

This weekend I have learned to love all of my brothers and sisters even if I may not particularily like them or know them. and it makes me so happy and grateful to know that my Heavenly Father loves me.

anyway yes I'm so excited and no we don't know when or where but we are hoping that it will be in the Mexico City temple this coming May. I love my fiance with all my heart and I know that we are just beginning there is so much to learn but that our Heavenly Father is blessing me in school, in church, with my family and friends and in my relationship with my husband-to-be.

My friends and family have been SO encouraging - more than I expected considering I know noone knows him in person but they are so happy for me and supportive and encouraging so i also wanted to write how thankful I am for that.

Well, I should probably work on things, although I guess I just want to rest today, my mind and body have been through a lot of work - I've been sick :( but I'm feeling better and last night I slept extra.

Wow, my sweetheart is amazing. I love him! :)

Love,

Stephi

Pictures!

A tour of campus in the cold - Like the flag in the background? :)

Em using her make-up expertise on Debbie - note the Pride and Prej on the tv! :)

Model shot! hehe Me looking pretty gorgeous after my makeover - great job Em!

Our new orchestra shirts came today! Aloha! it's because our conductor is Japanese Hawaian and he makes jokes about it all the time. gotta love Uch. He was imitating famous conductors today while we were doing the dress rehearsal run of Bolero and I almost cried from laughing so hard!

Me and my darling Jamilyn at Lake Michigan in between the dress and concert for Southwest - the paid orchestra I'm in. We walked along the beach and got our feet wet. Good times!